[Review] Trevor Noah's "Born A Crime:" Backstory of pre, post-Apartheid

It was a load of "shit" - at least judging by the number of times the author used the word. It was about being born a crime but also about living like a criminal.

Knowing the author - for his comedy exploits - perhaps played a significant role in breezing through the book in a record eight days. And as I admitted to a colleague, that Trevor writes as he speaks made reading easier.

The author weaves a labyrinth of his life and living it under a political system that thrived on racial segregation - the famed apartheid, remnants of which lingers in South Africa.

Trevor is a product of this very society and the survival tactics he'd employed along the way with a core presence of his mother made matters worse or better - depending on circumstances.

His billboards in New York refer to him as "Son of Patricia." Patricia Noyimbuselo Noah, was the very magician that got him to believe that he needed to fight for relief if he wanted to live - and fight he did.

To start from the end, Trevor tells the story of damning the cost and telling doctors to go-ahead and treat his mom after she'd been shot at close-range by his stepdad.

Along with his stepbrother Andrew, they consoled each other at the tragedy that likely loomed - Mom lived and Trevor wrapped up the story with her situation.

"For my mother, my first fan. Thank you for making me a man," were Trevor's last words of the story. Then he adds after acknowledgements: "And, finally, for bringing me into this world and making me the man I am today, I owe the greatest debt, a debt I can never repay, to my mother."

Roll back to the beginning, after reproducing the apartheid-era Immorality Act of 1927, Trevor kick starts with the story of how his mother threw him outta a moving vehicle in order to save their lives - him, mom and stepbrother, Andrew.

Chapter One is titled: "Run" and the last chapter: "My Mother's Life" as if to protect his story in between the two chapters with the hard training and life of his beloved mother.

But mom's mom,  Frances and cousin Mlungisi played equally central roles in his journey through life. Granny perhaps because of her "coloured" reverence for him and love to protect him from being "stolen."

Mlungisi was family but also a business associate of the highest degree. It was with him Trevor perpetrated what today could be classified digital crimes of duplicating pirated copies of music and selling.

Ten points to wrap up what I gleaned from the pages:

1 - Trevor lays bare the reality of Apartheid South Africa and the days after its abolition.

2 - Religion it turned out played a neutral role amid the system's restrictions. Mom caused them to attend three different church services in a weekend. He reveals sparring with mom over faith-based issues.

3 - Highlights the patriarchal nature of society and attendant gender-based violence as unleashed by his stepdad.

4 - A week in jail exposed him to the grim realities of South Africa's justice system - Mom to the rescue.

5 - Failure of political leadership? Kind of, as the problems he highlights about slums like Alexandra and Soweto still persist and are the cause of protests even as of March 2019.

6 - As he speaks, Trevor uses, even abuses use of (the) word "shit" and embedded in there is a truckload of "f*ck."

7 - Beyond being born a crime, Trevor lived a crime with the pirated CDs business, with the shoplifting that got a colleague expelled from school.

8 - The bumpy relationships with the opposite sex, perhaps reveals what most young people went through before social media and mobile technology.

9 - Leveraging on being multilingual, so that he spoke English, native Xhosa, Afrikaans among others. Bailing himself out due to his language prowess.

10 - Clearly phase one of the Trevor Noah story. Made a passing comment about his comedy gigs. With it all full-blown now, fingers crossed waiting for the journey up the comic ladder.

Very sincerely yours,
Hajia Fati’s son.

Sha'ban 18, 1440 = April 23, 2019

'Muslims don't date, we marry:' Headline swerve, Facebook swear

When I saw an article with the headline 'Muslims don't date, we marry,' I thought to myself that it must be an Islamic scholar advancing a certain school of thought.

But I was seeing this headline on Facebook so I looked again. I realised it wasn't an original myjoyonline story but one culled from the BBC.

The photo showed a Muslim couple in the case of myjoyonline whiles the BBC used the image of the man who owned the quote used in the headline - a bearded company CEO.

To start with, the article was in a business section of the BBC, it had ZERO to do with religion. It was about a matchmaking app, yes; just that.

The quote used in the headline was lifted directly from the story. They were the words of the Muslim co-owner of the app. The writer used it as the headline for the story.

Whiles the company basks in huge monetary returns and patronage by people, Facebook users on Joy News' page were "barking" at each other - the Muslims and non-Muslims alike.

Clearly, the multitude that pitched camp in the comments section were afflicted. Diagnosed with the malady of reading headlines and declaring "online jihad."

Mix that with what is an already toxic social media space and spice it with the boldening lure of the keypad, non-Muslims mocked the claim. Muslims fought, swore and bawled to "set the records" aright.

One commenter who seemed to irk most Muslims brought on the issue of Mut'ah, a type of contract marriage in pre-Islamic Arabia, expressly prohibited by the religion.

He came across as widely read given the kind of references that he kept dishing. All this while, most of the Muslims responding to him kept branding him ignorant, stupid, mischievous et. al. Instead of focusing on the substance and educating.

The sickening sickness of reading headlines but proceeding to comment on stories is perhaps next to the rampaging scourge of fake news. Call them "fake comments" if you like, they are as equally harmful if not more poisonous.

But hey, for as long as the internet remains with us, we'd have to live with shallow, not circumspect and itchy consumers of news, whose actions can consume us unless some level heads assume the responsibility of prudence.

Disclaimer: I ain't no level head though. It shall be well with the world, it sure shall be. God bless us all. Ameeen.

[Review] Kintu: Long walk to ending a generational curse

Background

Per my 2019 reading list, I had planned to read Ugandan author in March come what may. That looked unlikely after I failed to get a hard copy of "Sowing the Mustard Seeds," by Ugandan president Yoweri Museveni.

As if by providence I landed a book that had local words as "ganda, buganda, kabaka, bakabaka, lunyarwanda and kitawuluzi." Kintu, written by Jennifer Nansubuga Makumbi came along, I tucked along - the rest is history.

History is what the book leverages on to marry the long past (18th century) to as recent as the turn of the century - 2000s.

Things Fall Apart and a book for Ugandans 

The 2000s ending is the reason I refused to refer to this book as a remake of "Things Fall Apart" staged in Uganda. Chinua Achebe who is mentioned in Kintu ended his story in ancient Umuofia, Makumbi ends on a contemporary note.

Note this, from the word go, the preface throws a reality in your face, that this is a book written for Ugandans. But does it matter? Important thing is: its about a set of Africans.

And as we all would admit, our African value systems by way of culture and tradition and later religion, whiles not entirely uniform, straddle common barriers - like the colonial borders the African Union is seeking to make "invisible."

Kintu: Crafted story of a cursed kin

Kintu in simple terms is of five distinct cloths being woven together. In their individuality, they exuded pain, betrayal and death. After going through the weaver's skill - i.e. Makumbi's narration, there emerges an intricate, fine woven print.

The story of Kintu Kidda, the source of the curse that ravaged generations is staged (for want of a better word) in the 18th century. It's a firm foundation on which four other offshoots of the Kintu narrative is crafted.

The four are Suubi Nnakintu (sufferer of health crisis), Kanani Kintu (non-traditionalist, pro-Christianity), Isaac Newton Kintu (educated and modern young man), Misirayimu (Miisi) Kintu (Overseas educated modernist).

Each story a solid narration in its own right. Traversing years ago and converging in an elaborate traditional ritual that unites a family and sets them on a path to reclaim sanity of a family wracked and nearly wrecked by a curse.

The homecoming, an entire chapter which finally is the rope that binds and bounds the "Kintu curse," is set in Kiyiika, a border town with Tanzania, There at a point, the ritual needed Rwandan blood to proceed - lucky enough conflict had brought a Rwandan that close.

Indeed, the original source of the Kintu curse was hinged on a Rwandan nomad Ntwire who will not accept the manner Kintu Kidda had handled the death of his biological son and Kintu's apoted son, Kalemanzira.

Here are 10 key points I picked over the read-venture:

1 - A perfect weave of stories spanning generations. 1750 - 2004
2 - Amazing simplicity of language and expressions.
3 - Bears currency as stories straddle past and present. Yet you get to read about Idi Amin right into Museveni.
4 - Story ties three East African neighbours - Uganda predominantly, Rwanda centrally and Tanzania on the periphery.
5 - Marries pre-independent Uganda to post-independence and democratic Uganda.
6 - Sets up a potential clash between culture/tradition on one hand modernity/religion on other - eventually, each prevails to an extent.
7 - There is an animal kingdom embedded within. From Bees to snakes, dogs and ants, goats and sheep.
8 - Reiterates typical African patriarchy and challenges it with a stubborn matriarch, Bweeza
9 - There is a hardcore spirituality - traditional and Christian values wise and their descriptions are dead vivid.
10 - Nice presence in the use of local terminology, gives a strong Ugandan feel but helps soldier on as well.

Wrap up 

Six-letter title with a six-star material, worthy of six-man gun salute. The array of themes and the story telling tapestry makes Kintu an absolute must read whiles soaking in the suspense.

This is my story. Let's keep reading, shall we? On to and done with the next, Trevor Noah's " Born A Crime," a review is in the making. Lol.

Shaban 4, 1440 = April 9, 2019