Aquinas walls & nickname decor: Razor Blazer’s golden jubilee sign off

Typical boys environment, almost everyone had a nickname. For the records, I did not have one – I didn’t need one and didn’t care for one.

On hindsight, should have picked a.k.a Hajia Fati’s son. Oops at the time she no go hajj – yeah but Auntie Fati’s son would have been better that the Sokoto Gudali they tried to foist on me – Winchester Boye’s badass idea.

To put a slight context to this: "to register" means to write one's nickname on banned surfaces in the school, especially on walls with the use of permanent markers - preferably black.

Some nicknames / nickies refined, others downright crude, some unbelievably nonsensical. Some were local (to particular classes), other extended to the national (entire school). Some teachers had, others were given – known or unbeknown to them.

I heard visual arts students were the worst culprits in registering their names – for all it is worth they use paint. Most classrooms across board had these guy names on desks and class walls. The brave hearted use neutral grounds. Labs, library, staircases and notice boards.

The major chorus going along with the names is so and so ‘waz here som,’ as in they ever attended the school or sat in a particular class. Even on chapel pews some did register, the administration board, school gate etc.

Top picks for my class at the time included B. Banku (Kwame), C Kpanya (Attram), Cocobango (Safo Adu), Kosovo (Daniel Koffi), Nungua Jah Rule (Elvis), Onukpa (Padi), Kpatukpe (Kenneth), Misty flames (Amenyo), Gbegdzra (Rexford), Bawaleshie Ninja (Asare) and Wayo (Albert).

Some had more than one, as was the case with Wayo, it was his other nickname that landed him in hot waters – days to the 50th anniversary celebrations. That name ‘Razor Blazer,’ will blaze around the campus for the wrong reasons.

Read in Ga ‘mini sane’ (what was the matter?) Albert had gone to ‘register’ his name on freshly painted walls of the form two block. The name was known to everyone in our class and others on the block – but no one will chook.

It was clear that Razor Blazer was a form two student but there were 200 odd boys in that set, so who? Visibily distraught Father launched an appeal, prefects nosed around to no end. In the end, Albert busted himself.

The same permanent marker he used to scribble his name was used to scribble same on his bag. The same perhaps to blacken it out in the heat of the search. Then after arriving late to school he left his bag at one end and walked in at the other to escape punishment.

The new security chief, WO, picked the bag and traced the owner to our class. Albert had yet to come in. WO tricked us into admitting the bag was for Albert. He queried and made sure we all agreed.

Then he flung the Razor Blazer question. Albert’s closest associates fought back that it wasn’t him. WO opened the pouch of the bag and turned it inside out. There it was boldly written Razor Blazer in reverse. In less than 10-minute interaction, the biggest fugitive had fallen.

I won’t parrot about what became of Albert – guess? What I would parrot about is other nicknames that made the rounds on campus. An arts student was named ‘wretched’ and he deserved that title 100% - even Mrs Ben-Eghan ever called him that.

I remember JJ Thompson of the Science class, in form one we had a senior called Shato – they said he smoked weed at the time. One chapel prefect reputed for ‘mistakes’ earned the title ‘Ogbaami,’ and there was one ‘Shaker,’ as well.

Among staff members, we named our physics teacher ‘fulcrum,’ one chemistry teacher ‘molar’ as for what we called our General Agric teacher I won’t say – the day he got to know, he told us in expletive Ga (your mothers).

Mr. Dickson did not like his either. But there was one who came with his. Senyo Damali was a National Service guy from the University of Cape Coast, brought to teach us Core Maths. He was cool that we called him ‘Don Sly.’

Still in our class we had other chic names like Prof Blair (Anthony), Aristo (Thomas Aristotle) Pope John Gbedze (Aggor, the late), Don Misty (Frank), Togo spanner (Nicholas), Teee Kornu (Joshua), BM (Mubarak), BH (Emmanuel), Ashamui (Papa Yaw), Dovman (Alfred) Duna Company, Ejalawa, Liber ooo Liber (Attram), Sarbongui (Ibrahim), Lazy Macho, Social Advance (Sampson), Ataa Quaye (Emmanuel), Gentle giant, Kpangoo (Narh), Ayewlity (Kojo) among others.

If it was dangerous to register on the wall back in school, it’s no more, after all I am not a student. I will buy a permanent marker. Walk through the gates and write ‘long ago, I was here but couldn’t register. Better late than never. Signed Hajia Fati’s son, 2g3 batch!’ How about that?